Thursday, May 30, 2013

180 in 180 Day 33

Hey Ya'll,
I decided that I really need to invest in a good camera so that my picture uploads can be more reliable. I still for some reason can't get my celebration meal photos up on to yesterday's post. *sad face*

On another note I unconsciously recommitted to my plant-based eating, I didn't realize it until lunch today at work we had a potluck and someone asked me if I didn't like chicken. I responded, "it's not that, I just go through these phases where I don't really want meat." Lately, I simply don't feel all that well eating it even when I'm just picking. Water critters are more my friends I guess. I desperately need to make the time to grocery shop soon, because it is  incredibly difficult to eat well when rations are low.

Do you ever get the feeling that all of your great ideas are for nothing because you don't have the means to bring them to fruition? Well that seems to be the story of my life when it comes to my career and I'm beginning to feel really beat down about it. I know we make our own decisions and have to make sacrifices to bring our dreams to life. Problem for me is I'm not willing to make my family sacrifice along with me as I pursue something that I THINK will bring me career satisfaction. I'm still waiting for that moment of passion and drive to collide, creating clarity and success. I know it's near, I can feel it brewing, but until then I at least need something extremely flexible so that I can be here for my family as their needs change and grow. I hate the idea of feeling like the one job that I've always known I wanted isn't being completed with my greatest abilities. Well, off I go to pray, meditate, and rest.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

180 in 180 Days 31 & 32

Hey Ya'll,
Last night the hubby and I celebrated his new job and the unexpected extras that came along with it. (I'm so proud of him) We went to this steakhouse restaurant in our local "luxury" shopping center, The Domain. The steakhouse is called Fleming's. Now, I'm from Texas, so a good steak is not a foreign concept to me. But goodness I don't think I've ever experienced such a meal before. Not only was the atmosphere mellow, it managed to be casually elegant if you can imagine that. With soft red lighting to encourage the appetite and your choice of white or black linens for your table as you are seated. Staff were all friendly and appeared to be well treated... There are few worse things than being waited on by disgruntled serving staff. Despite my attempt to eliminate terrestrial animals from my diet for awhile, I did take this very rare opportunity to enjoy an adult meal with just my husband. Every morsel was worth it too.

Procini crusted Filet Mignon with a Blue Cheese  Bearnaise and grilled Asperagus.

Ceasar Salad with Parmesan Crisp

Fresh Parmesan French-style bread with Roasted Tomato Compound Butter and a Roasted Garlic Compound Butter
My husband absolutely loved the roasted tomato compound butter that came with our fresh bread. It was slightly sweet and well seasoned. It reminded me of dipping a slice of well buttered bread into a perfect tomato basil soup. My favorite of the butters was the roasted garlic compound, really just because I love garlic. The almost nutty sweetness of the roasted garlic appealed to me more I think also because it wasn't as sweet as the roasted tomato butter. Not that the roasted tomato butter was oddly sweet, it just didn't allow for the earthy savoriness that I look for when eating fresh bread. And since I'm eating bread far less, I choose to eat it in my favorite way when I do. The Cesar Salad to be honest was not the best I have ever had. I feel the dressing was slightly under seasoned, it could have used a bit more anchovy. But by no means was it offensively sub-par. The Parmesan crisp did provide that extra bit of saltiness that I was looking for in the salad as I ate it between bites. The steak I chose was perfectly cooked. So often if I order my steak medium I end up with it closer to rare. I know that many people prefer rare when eating a beautiful cut of meat, but my personal preference is to have a warm center (fresh cuts of fish being the exception). At first I wasn't certain about the blue cheese sauce with the steak, I was afraid it would be over powering. But I was pleasantly surprised. The sauce had just the right amount of blue cheese flavor without taking over the flavors of everything on the plate. Just enough to add an extra level of Umami to the experience. So beautifully done I found myself making sure that each bite of steak was adequately covered in the sauce even though it in no way needed sauce to enhance the flavor or texture of the steak itself. Overall, this meal really allowed our occasion to feel as special as it was to us.

That was my night last night, today life was a bit simpler. And that was just fine. A couple of lovely walks around the neighborhood today and yoga this afternoon after a terribly long day of work. A simple dinner and plenty of water made the extra movement added to today effortless. Though now I am so ready for bed that I can't seem to finish this posting fast enough. are you celebrating anything? Do you have a favorite spot to patron for celebrations? Or do you have places that you are ticking off your lists as the opportunity arises?
Peace & Namaste Ya'll  

Sunday, May 26, 2013

180 in 180 Days 27 - 30

Hey Ya'll,
The last few days have been a bit of a whirlwind. Great thing is the hubby has his foot back in the door of doing work he can love again. And I'm so excited to see him excited again. He has been diligent the last 3 years and it has finally paid off. As I see our lives progressively turn around I can't help but wonder what is in store for us as a family. What do I need to do to help position us for the best outcome possible. I watch my husband work so hard to be a contributing member of society on so many accounts that I occasionally feel like I don't pull my weight because I'm just floating about in meaningless jobs trying to realize who I'm meant to be. I kind of envy my husband's drive and clear understanding of who he is and what he wants to put his name on in this world.
I had a conversation with my Poppa today about what he will do when he retires from the service. And he said something that peaked my interest. He said, maybe I'll just do what I'm good at until I learn to love it.
You know, sometimes what we love is only meant to be a hobby. And sometimes just being good at something and allowing yourself to succeed is enough to evoke love for your craft. But either both require enough personal insight  to choose which is which. Yet another thing to ponder, I plan to get it together by the end of this journey. That's what this is all about after all, turning my life around.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

180 in 180 Day 26

Hey Ya'll,
Tonight, my husband said that I should tryout for the television show Master Chef next year.
Master Chef is set up for home cooks to compete for a monetary prize and the chance to learn from amazing professionals in the foo industry. It both excites and scares the begeezus out of me. The idea of being on television is just not appealing to me; in fact, it terrifies me. But the idea of getting the chance to learn from chefs like Gordon Ramsey and Graham Elliot would be the opportunity of a lifetime. While I think about it I will just keep practicing in the privacy of my home an feeding people that I love. Maybe I will even evolve this blog and post better food porn here for all to share. I would need a new camera for that, hopefully since I'm such a good girl Santa will bring me one the year for Christmas....and a new laptop Hehehe.

Back to my day today, this morning started well with a nice breakfast before it was shattered by the news of multiple favorite people leaving for other opportunities soon. It really held me until lunch, no snacking, not even the desire to stress eat after the news hit me. I guess I do best with complex carbs, fiber, and protein in the morning. It's a good thing to know the best way to break your nightly fast, everyone is different test out different options for yourself over the next week and see what you come up with.
Vanilla Almond Milk, Chocolate Hazelnut Oatmeal with Strawberries and Bananas
As for today, it was absolutely UNproductive for me, I couldn't focus worth anything. My mind kept wandering off to "What are you doing here?" "Where do you want to take your life?" "How much longer can you live this way?" and because I had not a single answer for any of my questions I kept floundering and daydreaming. I still don't really have any answers for myself, I just really need to get out of where I am and into an inspiring environment. Even yoga was difficult, I got on my mat and struggled though almost the entire class. Until two thirds of the way through when things really started to move quickly and freely as opposed to the long holds in a single pose that we were doing up to that moment. I felt myself breathe again and as the poses started to be held for only a single breath. I'm not sure if this is because mentally and emotionally I'm pretty much completely done with holding and waiting in my life. I crave being able to just flow and move and progress. I think I am reflecting this on my mat as well. Perhaps a chance to do just that in my life is on its way now that I am ready for it. I sure do hope so. Have you noticed that your practices are changing and you need them to become something else to match where you are in life?
Peace and Namaste Ya'll

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

180 in 180 Day 25

Hey Ya'll,

In light of recent tragedies I would like to extend heartfelt prayers to the families of Moore, Oklahoma. I would also like to take the time to express my gratitude to The Creator for keeping my own family in Oklahoma safe and secure. Each day is not promised to us, which is exactly why I started this project. The idea of leaving this Earth without having ever felt accomplished or legitimately satisfied with the life I've created for myself is absolutely unacceptable. So, I continue with my advancement for as long as I am permitted.

Today I did my best to remain grounded and engaged, for the most part, my day was productive. But I guess that's all one can ask for when one is at work, right? On a slightly higher note, I overcame a craving/desire to stop for a cheeseburger at dinner time and instead made the fish tacos that were planned. I was also proud of myself for prepping this morning's breakfast last night. Overnight I soaked oats in a blend of vanilla almond milk, banana, brown sugar, vanilla extract, and pumpkin pie spice. Then this morning I heated the soaked oats on the stove while I dry pan toasted hemp seeds. I topped the oatmeal with the hemp seeds and a few semi-sweet chocolate chips (I also added a few butterscotch chips in my bowl, fyi, the chocolate chips alone were enough). This whole idea came from my daughter's love of instant flavored oatmeal and my attempt to rid the house of these types of processed products. The verdict...."It's BETTER than the banana and cream instant oatmeal Mommy" Score one for Mom, so glad I thought this one up.
(Unfortunately the pictures I took of my meals do not want to load tonight, I will try again in the morning)

As I watch more people jump ship around me to stop doing work that doesn't serve them in exchange for work that nourishes and enriches their lives; I understand more and more that a change is coming for my family and me. I welcome this change with and open heart because I am certain it will place us in a world all our own that supplies us with the steady flow of joy that we seek. May you all sleep safely in your beds tonight and may dreams of your purpose bless your hearts. May you remember your purpose come morning light and may you pursue that with zeal and love. Goodnight, sleep tight, and allow The Universe in tonight.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Monday, May 20, 2013

180 in 180 Day 24

Hey Ya'll,
Today has been an odd day. Not necessarily bad, just odd. Something felt off and I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. I actually can't even think of anything to write about tonight because I feel like I've been walking around with my eyes closed all day. Have you ever had that feeling? Once you finally sit down at the end of your day and take a moment to exhale you realize that nothing from the day has been dedicated to memory because you've had no focus or any one thing at all. That has been me today, walking around in a fog. Even yoga kind of felt dream like to me....A much more pleasant dream but still kind of floaty in my head none the less. I think I'll try to make it to bed earlier tonight in hopes of actually feeling rested come morning. Take the time to breath and be present today before it slips away.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Sunday, May 19, 2013

180 in 180 Day 23

Hey Ya'll,
So today I took the time to step outside of my norm and reach out to people that I care about in my life. Part of my 180 degree turn about is keeping close to the ones I love. My distance from them is not intentional. It's really more about my tendency to be introverted. I'm not shy, but I'm not overly social either. I tend to observe my surroundings until I'm comfortable. I also choose to listen more than speak, unless it's a topic that I'm passionate about. So when I reach out to people, even if I call them, I don't always have much to say. I just wanted to hear their  voice and feel connected to them again. One person who has always understood this about me is my mother. Fortunately for me she is a Chatty Cathy and I can easily be on the phone with her for a few hours and barely utter 10 sentences. This ability of hers makes me smile....most of the time. In my effort to stay connected to my family and friends I have created these cell phone chat groups through this app called GroupMe...Think, AOL Chat room for your phone, it's actually pretty cool because it's in real time. The downside is that most of my family is really behind the curve technologically so I don't know how well this is going to work. But here's hoping.

I found myself looking at my Vision Board  this morning and realizing that I was progressively achieving each thing on that board. Slowly but surely I am realizing my dream of being the Me that I've always wanted to be in life. There are a select few things that apparently just will not happen for me...and I think I'm okay with that. But there are so many other attainable desires that I have listed and one by one I will take the challenge on and succeed. But even right now, when I can't really SEE the benefits of my work yet. I am still proud of myself because I know that my life didn't come to this overnight. Years of self neglect led me to sitting lost on an unknown path. It will not turn around overnight either, but it will turn around. One day at a time.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Saturday, May 18, 2013

180 in 180 Day 22

Hey Ya'll,
Does anyone want to buy me this seemingly AMAZING new floor cleaner?

I have tile flooring throughout my entire house and cleaning the floors can be kind of a pain.  I have a steam cleaner right now, and it's fine. It just runs out of water by the time I finish a single room so I have to refill frequently. As has become the new phrase among my friends: "first world problems". I am truly grateful for what I have, but with that said who wouldn't try to make their life as simple as possible, given the chance? This really is supposed to be a fancy schmancy ultra cool product.

I decided to make today uneventful and re-brand myself for another market within the workforce in my resume and cover letter re-writes. When I begin to research viable career options for myself I always seem to have this little nagging whisper in the back of my mind. "Is this what you really want to do?" "Do you honestly have a passion for this?" "Will this cost your family more money than it will make for your family?" "Will this be work that you will eventually retire from, or will this just buy you some time until the next thing?"
But what I do know for sure is that I have a gift within my hands. The ability to heal and nourish bodies has lived in me for as long as I can remember. The use of this gift has always been part of my ultimate plan in some form or fashion throughout my life. Whether I wanted to help people heal through food, or help women birth, or teach about sexual health and well being, learn to massage, or assist people in their physical rehabilitation through chiropractics, physical therapy, or even yoga the most common theme for me has been using my hands to heal on some level.
I think that I'm so put off by the extra work that will have to be done just to keep the house running semi-smoothly that I find myself shying away from the more complicated routes that will produce greater results in the long run. I find myself asking: "Is this worth paying for 8-16 hours of pre-requisites out of pocket while I work full-time and try to manage my home?" Because I've tried that before and everything fell apart, for a number of reasons. And that's not even going to guarantee that I get accepted into a program. *Le Sigh* What I need is a clear desire, then I can have a clear plan or action, and be willing to take on the bumps in the road that will inevitably appear. I do feel like something is coming to the surface but I also know that I need to feel as if there is a plan of some sort in the works for my life as soon as possible. Because professionally, what I currently have going on is just killing my spirit. Have you ever needed to make a decision and it scared you to pieces to follow through with? Have you overcome it yet or are you still working through it? Either way I wish you
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Friday, May 17, 2013

180 in 180 Day 21

Hey Ya'll,
I'm feeling a bit better today, my stomach is less angry with me. Though I think I need to flush my system this weekend with plenty of clean water, fresh juice, and herbal tea. I did take today off from work so I'm sure taking the time to rest and recover from whatever was plaguing me really helped. I barely ate today a little fruit salad here, some stir fry there, but I did make it to yoga. I went to a gentle yoga class today that was very restorative, very deliberate, and very much needed. I think I literally fell asleep during Savasana I caught myself just as I was starting to snore. At least I hope that I caught myself but I wouldn't be surprised if I had been snoring for a few minutes before becoming aware. Either way I feel restored and ready for an amazing night's sleep.

I've come to the conclusion that I may need to do something different to help me really and truly break my addiction to gluten and sugar. Even though I know that gluten makes me miserable I struggle to stay away from it because some of my most favorite foods are wheat-based. I generally don't tend to be a fan of gluten-free versions of quick bread products (which tend to be my favorites) like biscuits, pancakes, waffles, and quick breads like banana bread. The texture tends to be excruciatingly dry, dense, and crumbly. Maybe I haven't found the right product, or maybe I will just have to leave such products to once a month so as not to torture myself every single day for the rest of my life, but instead to treat myself to the absolute highest quality of these foods as a treat. The cheap, fast, and easy stuff isn't really all that tasty anyway when one really investigates. My body is screaming at me right now to lay down zone out and breathe. As I struggle to keep my eyes open while I type this, I wish you:
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Thursday, May 16, 2013

180 in 180 Day 20

Hey Ya'll,
I'm not feeling so hot today, my stomach just hasn't been very settled and my cravings are worsening. I'm craving animal products that I rarely even think about, let alone eat. I'm not sure anymore if this is emotionally charged or if I'm just not doing a good job of balancing my veg meals so my body is asking for specific elements that I'm missing. I need to really think about what makes me feel my best in eating. Maybe the fact that I haven't had any seafood this week to offset the cravings for other animal products has something to do? Either way this uneasy tummy isn't really keeping me going today. So I have looked up asanas that can help with this and I found a few poses that I think might really help, coupled up with some ginger tea. Then tomorrow I'm planning out the menus.
But right now, I'm going to try to tame my tummy.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

180 in 180 Day 19

Hey Ya'll,
Today was a little less than stellar; a storm rolled through my neighborhood in the middle of the night and at 4:00am a loud crack of thunder reminded me that I left pretty much all of my windows open on my car. *le sigh* Not to mention my interview yesterday for a new job didn't give me that warm and fuzzy feeling that you get when you're sure you nailed it. "le sigh again" I couldn't fall back asleep after running out to roll up my car windows...SO, an extra hour of sleep was forfeited. You would be surprised at how much difference an hour of sleep makes. Of course work is no peach as it is, but then drive there in your smelly wet car while it's still raining and other drivers behave as though they couldn't possibly kill someone with their vehicle and you have the makings for the opposite of a super lovely day.
I started to stress eat this morning by accepting a freaking bacon, egg, and cheese McMuffin of all things! I'm am less disappointed that I broke my fast from meat and cheese and more upset with myself that I broke my months long fast from McDonald's. Almost immediately after eating it my stomach was angry with me and let me know. Loudly. For about an hour....Why do I do these things to myself? I think it's because there are so many things in this world that I have no control over and unfortunately giant parts of my own life I do not get to have a finalized say in the pace, direction, outcome, or even use of my own existence. But food. Food I can always control. I can choose what to put in my mouth whenever or however I choose. It can make myself feel light and airy, ready to move about freely at will. I can make myself feel warm and comforted from the inside out by the foods that I eat. I can make myself feel deprived and martyred by my food choices. And as long as I have money to purchase food I can make myself settle into any feelings that I am experiencing (or want to experience) at that moment in time. Is it possible to be both powerful and a slave simultaneously?  
And then 4:15pm rolled around and I walked into the yoga studio, took my shoes off, inhaled deeply, checked into my Hatha Flow class, and smiled. Suddenly I was less frazzled, less stressed, I realized I had been grinding my teeth and became aware enough of myself to stop (at least until I go to sleep tonight), and the feeling that I was floating outside of my body watching things just happen to me and around me ceased. I was apart of myself again. I was a part from the world again. I was no longer swept up in the negative for that moment. I was present and aware and breathing. I was grateful.  Thank you for sharing in my day, even though it is not full of pretty pictures or humorous stories it is still my day and I own it. How was your day today?
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

180 in 180 Days 17 & 18

Hey Ya'll,
I would apologize for missing yesterday, but I'm not really sorry. I chose to spend some much needed quality time with the hubby rather than sitting on the sofa next to him blogging and unable to interact wholly. But as a consolation I have taken quite a pictures for you (although you and I both know I need a better camera) But one thing at a time.
Yesterday's yoga session opened the window of hope in my heart and made me that much more grateful for the ability to nurture my practice. I am grateful for the personal time I steal for myself 3 times a week, and I hope to steal a few more moments each week. I am grateful for an instructor who is willing to push us to the edge and attentive enough to know when to back us away from it. I am so grateful for the financial ability to take these classes each week. My time on my mat is so sacred to me, it is my deepest method of prayer. When I find myself at my breaking point with my increasing frustrations at work I make it to the end of the day merely because I know that when I leave I can pray on my mat. If I could cook and practice yoga all day everyday I would be one happy lady. But thing at a time.
I spent time getting into the production of my meals a little to alleviate some of the boredom that can occur sometimes. Bean patties from the freezer made for quick breakfast and lunch. Flipping leftovers into brand new meals to save money and make dinner fast and easy.
Sauteed Mustard Greens, Grilled Red Potatoes, Grilled Garlic Portabella  Mushrooms

Turned stir fried broccoli from last night into a taco

Polenta with Pinto Beans for breakfast

My veg portion of the family's Beef and Broccoli dinner

Garbonzo bean and Brown Rice patty turned into Lettuce Wraps for lunch

Southwest Black Bean and Brown Rice patty Tacos for breakfast 
This is kind of survival mode food for me. It keeps me from grabbing a burger or devouring Bar-B-Que when I'm stressed from work or overwhelmed by the amount of things that need to be done over the course of the week. Though I did have a trigger today and found myself digging in the back of my freezer for Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies. Fortunately my kiddo was home so I shared the few that I ate and felt less guilty. Do you have something that you are so grateful for in your life right now? Or do you maybe have a bad habit when under stress that you are trying to break? Either way I wish you love, clarity, and wisdom. 
Peace and Namaste Ya'll

Sunday, May 12, 2013

180 in 180 Day 16

Hey Ya'll,
I hope everyone is having a lovely Mother's Day. Whether you are a mother or you are just celebrating the mother figure in your life. Beautiful meals and peaceful moments should abound today. My munchkin made an attempt at creating a vegan breakfast for me, she was rather inventive since I still needed to do the grocery shopping for the week. I made myself a fresh green juice, went shopping by myself (no one rushing me through the store YAY!) did some minor meal prep and had stir fry peanut noodles for lunch. Note to self: no tofu in the noodles next time.
Thai peanut noodles with Tofu

Pouring up my green juice concoction

Collard Greens, Cucumber, Green Apples,  Pink Lady Apples, Ginger, and Lemon

My vegan Mother's Day breakfast: Avocado, Tomato, Tortilla Chips, a Pickle, and homemade "Lemonade"

Sundays in general tend to be a "Get yourself together girl" kind of day. I guess with a new full week I have to have all my faculties about me in order to survive. Well here's to surviving your week and maybe even enjoying it.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Saturday, May 11, 2013

180 in 180 Days 14 & 15

Hey Ya'll,
This week has ended rough for me. You ever have one of those days where that final tiny straw hits your back and you just can't stand up under the pressure anymore? Well that was me yesterday and I found myself drink a little too much wine and eating foods that I had no intentions of keeping in my regular rotation of foods. The same goes for today, early this morning I had a meeting that just rubbed me the wrong way. The major culprit for me over the most recent 36 hours...french fries. Even sweet potato fries. *Le Sigh*

Well, if the whole 180 days went over without a single hitch then it wouldn't be a challenge now would it? So a day and a half was lost, but lessons about me were gained. I have learned that when I am stressed I need my yoga class that much more rather than a Happy Hour evening with friends right now. Grant it, it was nice to see them and they helped my blow off some steam. But overall it was counterproductive to my mission and no solutions were reached at any point. Not to mention I physically feel the worst I have felt in DAYS. This is miserable, I absolutely understand why I chose to take on these challenges. Because I was feeling so terrible from the inside out. After getting a glimpse at what it is like to feel kind of good on the inside why would I want more of this terrible grossness ever again? I think to help expedite feeling better again I will juice some produce in the morning and go to yoga as a nice Mother's Day gift to myself. I managed a couple of pictures but not nearly as many as I should have taken. I can only get better as time goes by and I continue to practice....right?
Pineapple Peanut Brown Rice for breakfast yesterday, not bad at all .

Kimchi Jjigae (not homemade) 
Tomorrow is a new day, let the redemption begin. Happy Mother's Day to all of you who take care of someone other than yourself. And a special Happy Birthday to The Love of my Life. <3 div="" ll="" mat.="" nbsp="" on="" see="" the="" ya="">Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Thursday, May 9, 2013

180 in 180 Day 13

Hey Ya'll,
Now I'm not sure what my problem was today, but I just did not want to eat much. Don't get me wrong, I was hungry. Heck it seems like I'm always hungry, but I didn't want most of the foods that I was trying to feed myself. Do you think I'm going through official withdraws? I am approaching a full week in my detox and usually the first 2 weeks are the hardest. If it wasn't peanut butter or olives I was just turned off. I did manage to get some tomato soup and salad in me so my body won't be angry with me and I don't find myself sleepwalking stuffing my face with everything in the fridge in the middle of the night. Not that it has ever happened to me before, but it would be just my luck that I'm doing something that means a lot to me and I sabotage myself unconsciously in a brand new way.

So basically all I ate today was a rice cake with peanut butter, a banana with peanut butter, a small handful of pecans, tomato soup and a salad. No pictures because nothing was impressive....Well I take that back the soup and salad were lovely, they will be finished off tomorrow for lunch so maybe I'll take a pic then. Though my plans for the rest of tomorrow's meals are completely up in the air. I think I will take advantage of the quiet moment in my house right now and call it a night early. Maybe a hot shower, a little yoga, some meditation, and a good night's sleep will have me appreciating my meals more tomorrow. Until then...
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

180 in 180 Days 11 & 12

Hey Ya'll,
Yesterday I managed to forget that I had two different posts that needed to be made and only did one of them. Oops, good thing ya'll aren't paying me HA! Well, let's see yesterday and today were both excellent food days for me. (Today was really just full of yesterday's leftovers) I ate sauteed kale for breakfast yesterday and a green apple with peanut butter for breakfast this morning. Those were the only differences in my meals between yesterday and today.
Dinner: Baked Tilapia with roasted potatoes and steamed fresh green beans

Beans and rice for lunch from Monday night's leftovers

****ATTENTION TMI MOMENT, skip to the next paragraph if you are sensitive**** Let's just say eating your greens makes for easy digestion if you know what I mean. Man alive! I am just glad that the body acclimates and calms down after a short period of consistent habits.

After having conversations with 2 people whose opinions I value I have come to the conclusion that whatever I choose professionally will not be easy to obtain. It will not be a cash cow. And these two points may very well make my husband uncomfortable for a short period of time, but I'm okay with that. I'm okay with stepping inside of myself to dig deep and find my joy. And because I know myself I know that it will not make my 6 figures a year, but that is why I joined a life long team (i.e. got married) We get to balance each other out and make our lives successful by filling in the gaps, a true Yin and Yang relationship. Getting to deepen my yoga practice is really helping me move through these feelings. Slow, but present, progress in less than 2 weeks. All because I am actually seeking change, but through focusing on my practices that make happy rather than focusing on the symptoms of my broken spirits (weight, skin, finances, etc.) I am so grateful to my experience with IIN, even if I don't become a classic health coach, because I have solidified my understanding of how to make my own life better. How to allow myself to fit Out rather than trying to find a little cubby hole in everyone else's world to fit Into. As I pull my life back in line, I ask you what are you okay with for your own life that doesn't necessarily fit into other's ideas for your life? As those thoughts come up, whether or not you choose to share, I wish you:
Peace & Namaste Ya'll   

Monday, May 6, 2013

180 in 180 Day 10

Hey Ya'll,
As of today, my plant based detox went really well. I had green juice for breakfast which was a nice jump start to the gut and even to my mind.I did add some fish to my roasted cabbage and tomatoes at lunch because I realized that I didn't have a grain and I would be ready to murder someone for a sandwich by 1:00pm if I didn't add a little fat and/or protein. I normally don't like using my crock-pot, mostly because I don't use it enough to really develop a relationship with it, but I plugged it in this morning and succeeded in making one of the best batches of vegetarian chili beans I have ever made in a long time. As you can tell I am proud of myself. Unfortunately I'm still really terrible about taking photos before I eat because I'm usually so hungry I forget. I'm working on it, I promise more pictures will be taken and I will share freely. Baked sweet potatoes and sauteed kale accompanied my beans tonight and I am satisfied.

On another note I would like to my greatest gratitude into the universe for the creators, teachers, and doers of yoga. Today was one of those days where I daydreamed about walking out on my job and never looking back. But I just kept breathing and told myself that if I can just make it to yoga I can survive the day. And guess what? It was true! I made it to yoga and by the end of class I felt so much better about my day, about my life even. I wish I could feel like that at all times, just floating within myself feeling present and connected to my world. I want to practice all the time and just lose myself in a yogi high. Speaking of yoga, there is a new documentary underway about the great guru of Iyengar yoga. I would love to see this film be finished soon and presented to the world. It is a story that needs to be told. So hopefully if you  are reading this and able to donate even $5 you might decide to help the independent filmmaker finish this amazing project.

“Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.” - Marianne Williamson

Peace and Namaste Ya'll

Sunday, May 5, 2013

180 in 180 Day 9

Hey Ya'll,
So today was the end of the live streaming IIN conference and I'll tell you something. This conference has been kind of serendipitous for me. If you read my post from yesterday you remember me mentioning that I am considering setting myself up on a detox for the rest of this journey. Well the fantastic Alexandra Jaimeson was one of our speakers today and she spoke about detoxifying the body and some of the ways to approach it. It was as if my spirit spoke to the universe and the universe answered directly. So I decided that starting tomorrow I will eliminate all land animals and their products. There will still be no wheat, especially since I've found that I have a bit of an allergy/sensitivity to it. Sustainable seafood that can be sourced and verified as responsibly caught will be had maybe twice a week at the most. My focus is to add more and more veggies, plenty of whole grains, nuts, beans, peas, and legumes. I want to focus of what to have rather than what not to have, then there is less of a sense of deprivation and more of a challenge to display culinary creativity.

Now with today being Cinco de Mayo and my daughter and I having a shared love of Mexican food, but constantly getting vetoed by my husband when we want to have it for dinner. We took advantage of the day and made a platter that literally lasted us a couple of meals today. Good thing I started my morning with a fresh pressed green juice.
Bean and cheese nachos with homemade guacamole and plain Greek yogurt instead of sour cream.
So tomorrow I hope to start focusing on filling my life with more greens and grounding myself in my yoga practice. I want to remove the barriers that I have put up to block the real me from being exposed to the world. Fear of pain has stunted me so now the idea is for this detox to reconnect me to myself, my passions, and my purpose in this life. I seek peace and the opportunity to spread hope and love but that cannot be possible without grounding myself back into my mind, body, and spirit. Did any of you decide to detox? If you would like help fashioning one for yourself I would be glad to help. Just comment below. 
Peace & Namate Ya'll

Saturday, May 4, 2013

180 in 180 Day 8

Hey Ya'll,
Happy Saturday!! This morning my family and I walked a 5k for the March of Dimes. I was so proud of my little munchkin princess because she was excited to be serving others in such a powerful manner. After that I hooked up my computer and watched the live streaming conference that is going on this weekend at IIN. There have been so many powerful and passion people speaking about making our lives clean, peaceful, and abundantly healthy. And then taking our experiences and spreading across the world to make for a cleaner, more peaceful, and overall healthy place to live. I love everything that I am learning in this program and having like minded people to chat with, even if it is only online. It fuels me to be who I am and ignore the people who are in my immediate networks urging me to be "normal". I have never been like others around me and that has always been just fine with me. Now I get the chance to turn my differences into a way of life as well as a living.
Walking up Lavaca towards the Capital Building during the March of Dimes 5k.
After watching the conference I've started thinking about fashioning a detox plan for myself during what's left of my 180 days. I have not finalized my decision yet, but I'm leaning more towards a vegan diet for at least the next 30 days but maybe longer. I think I'll commit to a specific plan tomorrow once I go grocery shopping. I've always seen detoxifying as a form of meditation, in my religious up bringing fasting is a way of committing to hearing The Most High's next plan for you. In my life now I still feel the same way, but I also feel that it allows my body to talk to me and make room for what we need to be able to do. So this is not about losing weight or "jump starting my diet" for me. This is really about connecting with my Creator as well as connecting with this process that I'm going through in my 180 days. I will sleep on my thoughts tonight and allow the parameters to be set. I think this will be necessary in the efforts of my turn around. Is there another level in your journey that is signaling you to be added to your journey? We shall talk about it later, until then...
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Friday, May 3, 2013

180 in 180 Day 7

Hey Ya'll,
I am ending the last day in my first week of my journey and I think the biggest revelation I'm closing this week out with is that where I am right now is perfectly okay...For Now. That wanting more doesn't have to equal waiting until the day when *insert perfect conditions here* happens in order to feel happy. Or waiting to feel worthy of taking care of myself in specific ways. I don't have to be 50 pounds lighter to deserve a new pair of shoes. I don't have to love the way every inch of me looks naked in order to look in the mirror every morning and be okay with the face staring back at me. I've also gathered that doing what I love makes all of the less enjoyable tasks of my day that much more bearable. Right now I'm rejuvenated and determined, I know that each day brings about new trails and new lessons to learn about myself. All I can do is take each day on, one at a time.

On another note my yoga practice has really picked up and I've even made it into new studio that I joined 3 times this week so far. I'm very proud of myself for this, because so often I end up with what seems like dozens of barriers between me and my practice. I've decided that practicing fills me with too much joy to not partake in it as often as possible. My focus this (in just these 7 days) has shifted from "trying to lose weight" sitting quietly at the forefront of my mind, to wanting a beautiful, evolved, enlightened, advanced practice. Walking clears my lungs and yoga clears everything else. My mind, my intestines, my heart, my spirit it all just clears and rejuvenates with a steady practice for me. This is a feeling that I want to maintain, that I will maintain. Now if only I had a friend or two who loved it as I do, I could really flourish and thrive. Hmm, how many of you have a yoga practice that you are constantly growing in? What style do you primarily practice in? If anything can help move me to the next stage in my life yoga can, and I'm ready for it.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Thursday, May 2, 2013

180 in 180 Day 6

Hey Ya'll,
Today the weather here in Texas is drunk and I'm sending it home. We went from 85 degrees as our high yesterday to 48 degrees as our high today with high blowing winds that made me feel like a visit to OZ was in my immediate future. Oh, and tomorrow it will be around 75 degrees and climbing throughout the weekend for a warm and muggy Cinco de Mayo.

I am going to be honest, today I'm feeling a little defeated. I seem to alternate days of awesome and bleh and it's getting kind of old. My food choices weren't horrible, so that's not what took me out. It was more the realization that I just have to ride certain things out until the door is open wide enough for me to fit through and escape. I have to stop checking out mentally at the hopes of future situations to come and simply be present. To be present and grateful for the moment that I am in today, right now. I deserve to be exactly where I am right now because of the decisions that I made to get me here and now I have to do something else to earn my way into another position. But realizing this makes me a little sad. I guess that's really because it has taken me so long to even try to start thinking about myself and what I want out of life and what I was going to take out of life. When most people were doing this in their teens and twenties I was thinking about and looking after other people first and foremost. But now that I realize that I both need and deserve to do/have what makes me happy I can't just stop functioning for others. So things are going to have to tip toe and take baby steps even though I'm so ready to just leap into life head first.
The Most High has a funny way of giving you everything you ask for and then making you wade through your wishes to want and receive what was actually planned for you. I know something is coming my way, I just hope I don't have much more wading to do. I think I'll go do some bedtime yoga and meditate a little before bed in hopes of being able to receive my Creator's plan for me. and I will continue to meditate and receive each night until I am no longer physically able to do so.
When was the last time you connected with your Creator?
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

180 in 180 Day 5

Hey Ya'll,
Day 5 and I'm feeling internally mobile, if that makes any sense? I think what I mean by that is, I can feel a lot of emotional and spiritual shifting happening for me. I'm also really hunting around for different work options. Writing is helping me sort out all of the thoughts that I have and put together a clearer idea of what I want my life to look like. Yoga is really helping me release my fears and receive my mission. Everything isn't crystal clear for me yet, but it definitely isn't as foggy as it once was so many months ago.

My meals today were uninspired, simple, and fairly benign. Breakfast was plain yogurt with cantaloupe and almonds. For lunch I had leftover rice salad from Monday. I also had a banana and a meat stick as a snack. (I know that sounds weird, but think organic and better executed Slim Jim) Dinner consisted of roasted veggies and stuffed red bell pepper. No pictures today, I just couldn't seem to really get into the groove of anything today until it was time for yoga. Then of course my day was ending, but I am okay with that.

I find myself wondering what writing more might bring to my life. If it's a viable option for me to supplement, or even replace, my income. I think given a chance, a little guidance, and some practice I could really make it work. But it also seems that everyone and their baby bother is a writer of some sort and trying to make a living from it. I write because it helps me to reconnect with myself as I swim through life. I know nothing about monetizing my words but some people are making money writing about the misadventures of celebrity personal lives as if that advances us as people in any way. So why couldn't I write about food and how it effects us, recipes, urban farms, natural birth, breastfeeding, and anything else that tickles my fancy? Well, until I make some sound decisions I will keep writing for me and maybe someone will decide to read this and interact with me.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll