Saturday, July 30, 2011

Reboot Day....Sorry I lost track

Ok the days have been blurring together lately.Working 10-12 hr shifts 6 days a week for a few weeks at a time will eventually take its toll on your extracurricular activities. My rebooting has been okay and not so okay. To be honest the absolute worst part of it has been (TMI alert) the constipation, and having to be around people who are eating and me not being able to eat, also I've been feeling as though I smell like a walking expired multi-vitamin. This isn't cute at all....I decided to help with the constipation I'm going to have a completely vegan lunch each day so things can move along, rather than taking some manufactured potentially harmful chemical aid. LOTS of leafy greens should help and I'll juice for my other 2 meals. This is still so much better than how I've been treating myself, I'm proud to have started this venture and I'm determined to complete it. Now if I can somehow get paid what I make in a year now but only have to work 20 hours a week then I'll REALLY be on to something. LOL
Peace to ya'll. Namaste.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Reboot Day 4

Day 4 nearly complete.
Hello all,
I'm sure you remember me considering going to bed early last night to avoid eating, so that I did veer from my amended Juice plan. Well, I did in fact go to bed before 9:30pm last night. My husband was cranky because he had been under-eating for the past two days. So I was sure to feed him well and let him play his video games in peace. After he was taken care of I curled up and watched cartoons until I drifted off into dreams of food. I know I's a shame, but at least dreaming about the food didn't add any unintended meals to my belly.
With that said, Day 4 has been better-ish. I ate a vegetarian lunch that was free of the restricted foods and I was very happy to do so. But again it's dinner time and this juice/water thing isn't cutting it. Having to cook a meal and not be able to eat any of it is torturous. I'll probably drink a cup of hot tea and go to bed before 10:00pm yet again. Now don't go thinking that I'm usually up until midnight on a regular and that's why pre-10:00pm is a problem for me. On the contrary I'm typically asleep no later than 10:30 on a normal work night. But being in bed and passed out at 9:30pm makes me feel a bit extra lame. Ha!
Really I just want to EAT!! I miss food! I just don't see how anyone gets used to NOT eating. Yea yea, I guess it's really all in my head and that is exactly what got my into this position with my poor physical condition and self-esteem. But dang it I Love Food........*Le Sigh* okay, this reboot is about breaking my addictions and dependencies. It's about changing the way I think about food. "Food is fuel for my body not my friend who comforts me." Umm, I'm not sure how well I believe this yet, because food is/can be very comforting and as a person who isn't very well understood by most of my peers food/books/movies have and will always "get" me. But I need to let go of my emotional dependency and grow up, right? Oh well, my husband has been fed. Off to bed I go to dream of delicious meals that I will create again when this journey  has come to its end.
Peace to ya'll (if anyone is out there ) Namaste

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Reboot Day 3

Day 3 nearly finished....
Okay all so I've made it through Day 3 (pretty much), I did in fact have a light salad for lunch today in order to keep my brain functioning through work. But now I'm home and I've had to cook dinner for my husband and all I want to do is eat. So I may end up going to bed REALLY early. Which isn't really fair to my husband because we haven't seen each other all day and he isn't even home yet. But I don't know if I can make it with out binging if I stay up until my normal 10:00pm. I just keep telling myself to make it through each day, don't worry about how long this is supposed to be for, and that the foods I'm passing up aren't actually going anywhere. I can recreate (or order in the case of work provided lunches) anything at another time. I'm going to love myself more later if I can say NO now. Rather than hating myself instantly AND later if I cave in to the temptations floating around me. So, I'm going to take the advice of a sweet little fish and "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming"......But I'm struggling right now so I'm going to lay my head down until my husband comes home to keep myself out of trouble.
Peace to ya'll. Namaste

Monday, July 25, 2011

Reboot Day 2

Day 2......
I must admit SUCKED royally. See i wasn't able to sleep through my 2:00pm drag hour, I had to work. And I found my brain function was SO foggy. I figured out why Joe and Phil were able to go 60 Days, it's because they didn't have to work during that time. If it were up to me the first 7 days I would sleep mostly until my body finished detoxing. So in order to keep my job I'm going to have to amend my fast. I will be having veggies for lunch and juice for all other meals. I think this will make for a good compromise so that I can focus and work efficiently. I am disappointed that I'm having SO much trouble with just juicing. I think I'll keep trying to get through consecutive total juice days and hopefully be able to build up to my desired 15 days of total juicing.
On another note I received my Yoga home practice videos that I ordered in the mail on Sunday!! Oh happy day! So this morning I opened my mat again after a couples weeks of being unable to make it to class. Even my husband has started practicing with me it's pretty amazing considering he's made fun of yoga for years. I'm much more of a morning practice kind of girl, he wants to do all kinds of extra work after a full days work........NOT my idea of a great time. The evening always seems so noisy and busy to me. Even if there's no one around. The morning is when I'm at my best. *Shrug* that's why the videos are great, class can be whenever you want it to be.
Oh yea, I'm on the scale pretty much everyday just to remind myself of my goals, but I'll on post progress on here weekly.
Thank ya'll for reading (if there's anyone out there reading)
Peace to ya'll. Namaste

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Day 1 of My Reboot

Happy 1st day to me!!
Yes I know it's odd for anyone to be so excited about not eating food for the next 15 days. Think of it as me being excited about regaining control over my life/health. This is like rehab from food for me. A true reboot of my system including my mind. I know I said I was going to post photos and stats.........So I guess I must, no matter how embarrassing they will be for me. Here goes

Day1 - 232.8 lbs yes the date these were take reads 2010, but I've been hover over the same weight for little more than a year now. I figured why take new photos when there are still an accurate representation.

There I did it, now there's no going back. There's no fudging the numbers. This is one of the most intimate moments I've ever created in my life. My own husband doesn't know exactly how much I currently weigh. Pretty much only my doctor knows this.....that is until now.
So my first day has been only slightly difficult, mostly because I was able to nap through the tough spots of the day. My REAL challenge is going to be Day 3 when I'm knee-deep in work and wanting a to have a lunch with everyone else.
Peace to ya'll. Namaste

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Joining the Reboot

Hello all (if there is anyone out there)
I'm back and this time I'm on a mission that I think I want to share my experiences in detail over. I know I've said that before and then I allowed work, lack of finances for interesting experiences, lack of time for my practice, and various other bogus excuses to stop my progress. But I have a project that I MUST complete, for my own health as well as for my pride, before Thanksgiving Day of this year (2011). What, may you ask, lit the fire under me? Well, I am a complete documentary junky and one day I found myself scrolling through Netflix looking for something interesting. Then, in my New Movies queue appeared a film called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. Mind you it was about 6:00 in the morning at the time. This movie was so intriguing that my sleepy bear of a husband actually woke up earlier than his norm to watch it with me as we got dressed for work. I watched 2 men turn their lives around in 60 days and I found myself inspired like never before. My interest has been peaked by weight loss programs before, but the way these men's lives were so greatly effected and the impact that they had on the lives of those around them really moved me. I encourage everyone, even if you don't have issues with your weight, to see this film.
I don't fore see myself Juice Fasting for an entire 60 days like the men in the film, but I do plan to Juice for 15 consecutive days and then consume an entirely plant-based diet until I have reached my goal of 165lbs. I had to order my juicer to be shipped to me because it seemed all brick and morter retail shops were completely sold out. Apparently, everyone in my city saw the film at the exact same time and everyone was moved to Reboot their lives at the same time LOL. But because my juicer will be here soon I have begun my week prior ramp up to my reboot. In my week prior ramp up I am to eliminate Meat (not hard for me), Caffeine (again not hard for me), refined sugar (a lit bit of a challenge for me), and processed Carbohydrates (VERY CHALLENGING FOR ME). I love breads, rice, pastas, crackers, cereals all of those other delicious comforting tummy filling no no's that so many people try to avoid. My problem is I have relied too much on these (whole grain or not) to "nourish" me. Mostly they just make me feel satisfied like nothing else can. That's not to say that I don't enjoy other foods, especially fruits and veggies. In fact I pretty much love all food (which is part of my problem). So as you can imagine not eating, only drinking fresh juices, for a whole 15 days is going to be a serious challenge for me.
But at this point in my life I feel like I HAVE to do this. I don't think I've ever felt like if I didn't lose this weight my life simply won't unfold the way that I need it to for optimal living. I am being realistic in my weight goals (I'm 5'6 1/2", of African decent, naturally curvey with dense muscle mass) 165lbs would make me happy, healthy, and confident in my own skin again. I am in day 4 of my ramp up week and now I have to officially let go of my processed carbs for at least the next 30 days (it will probably be more like 90 days though). Right now I'm fine with it.... but, uhh ask me again after a stressful day of work. On Sunday when I begin my Reboot officially I will post a "before" picture and my stats to make this official. That will mean that I have to follow through with the blogging of my success (or failure) and be held accountable for either. Oh yea, I also purchased some home yoga practice dvds to assist me in my journey to Zen. My having to work 40+ hours a week and take care of my family tends to infringe upon my desire to attend yoga class regularly. So I will be Juicing and opening my mat at home. I really feel as though this is what I've been waiting for; I've never been so excited about something that is going to be such a physical and mental challenge.
Thank you to anyone out there reading, and blessings to everyone (reading or not). Peace