Sunday, May 30, 2010


Okay so I've been silent for a very long time around here, mostly because I'm trying to figure my life out still. The teaching thing is still underway and I guess I'm becoming increasingly okay with the idea......I guess..... Anyway I am still completely in love with my yoga instructor K's flow class. I actually get excited about getting up early so I can be in her 8:30 am class. But as they say all good things must come to an end. I regretfully am moving back to Austin *sigh*. I want to stay in the Dallas-Metroplex area so badly, but it can't happen unless one of us gets a job here and SOON. This is one of the reasons that I am actually beginning to look forward to my new career in teaching. My chances of finding a job here are greater than they are in Austin *yesss* because there are so many more districts to apply to. What I'm really hoping for in teaching is a resounding peaceful moment of professional clarity. That working in this field will grant me the insight I need to know "what I want to be when I grow up". Until the fall I need a little part-time something to put some change in my pockets so that I can afford to pay for my exams in July. Maybe someone will be willing to pay me to taste all of their latest food creations and ideas, ahh wishful thinking......... 

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Wading through the Muck

It seems we all go through upsetting funks in our lives. Many of us find ourselves feeling lonely, dejected, and hopeless. For those of us who believe in a higher power it's often saddening because we feel a bit abandoned. We feel as though we continue to try and live in a favorable manor, doing good in our lives and in the lives of others. But we are still left to be consumed by the demons of desolate wasteland hearts. We're supposed to feel connected to ourselves and then allow the universe to bring in all its offerings to us. Sometimes we so deeply want to feel needed in order to remember our worth that we forget we need us more than anyone ever could. We forget to nurture our minds, to grow our spirits, to strengthen our bodies, or to soften our hearts. Once we've established a new sense of focus in our lives when is it okay to accept love back into our lives? When do we get to feel the quickening heartbeats, the butterflies in the stomach, the day-dreams of forever? When is okay to desire another person's company again? When is it okay to crave that someone's body again? To smell them in your sleep and smile? To taste their lips and hum? To be carried away by passion for this person and get lost in dreams for them? When is it okay for happily ever after to actually turn out just like that.....Happily? When is it okay for others to stop disappointing our hearts? When is it okay to believe that others will stop disappointing our hearts? When does everything align itself and simply create a good existence?