Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Reboot Day 4

Day 4 nearly complete.
Hello all,
I'm sure you remember me considering going to bed early last night to avoid eating, so that I did veer from my amended Juice plan. Well, I did in fact go to bed before 9:30pm last night. My husband was cranky because he had been under-eating for the past two days. So I was sure to feed him well and let him play his video games in peace. After he was taken care of I curled up and watched cartoons until I drifted off into dreams of food. I know I know......it's a shame, but at least dreaming about the food didn't add any unintended meals to my belly.
With that said, Day 4 has been better-ish. I ate a vegetarian lunch that was free of the restricted foods and I was very happy to do so. But again it's dinner time and this juice/water thing isn't cutting it. Having to cook a meal and not be able to eat any of it is torturous. I'll probably drink a cup of hot tea and go to bed before 10:00pm yet again. Now don't go thinking that I'm usually up until midnight on a regular and that's why pre-10:00pm is a problem for me. On the contrary I'm typically asleep no later than 10:30 on a normal work night. But being in bed and passed out at 9:30pm makes me feel a bit extra lame. Ha!
Really I just want to EAT!! I miss food! I just don't see how anyone gets used to NOT eating. Yea yea, I guess it's really all in my head and that is exactly what got my into this position with my poor physical condition and self-esteem. But dang it I Love Food........*Le Sigh* okay, this reboot is about breaking my addictions and dependencies. It's about changing the way I think about food. "Food is fuel for my body not my friend who comforts me." Umm, I'm not sure how well I believe this yet, because food is/can be very comforting and as a person who isn't very well understood by most of my peers food/books/movies have and will always "get" me. But I need to let go of my emotional dependency and grow up, right? Oh well, my husband has been fed. Off to bed I go to dream of delicious meals that I will create again when this journey  has come to its end.
Peace to ya'll (if anyone is out there ) Namaste
Post a Comment