Thursday, July 22, 2010

Day 6 of the Open Mat Journey

Well, let's see, where to begin. Yesterday was an extremely emotionally draining day for me because of a number of very personal issues that arose. After hashing somethings out I was not up for much of anything, but had a practice to assist with late in the afternoon. Well I didn't get on my mat at home and in peace (because there wasn't really much of that going on around here anyway) But I did get in a few inversions and some meditation during an isolated segment at practice. It's strange sometimes I really do feel as though I must be invisible to people. I was able to get in full stretches and even a headstand and not a single person noticed. And it's not even as though I were off in a corner somewhere. Oh well, I'll just say they were all focused on doing what they were supposed to do "good job kids"! I didn't really do much else after that though, mostly because all I wanted to do was sleep.
I messed up my fast yesterday and had to start it officially today. It seems the guidelines I've given for myself are: no solid foods before 4:30 or after 9:30, no meats, no wheat, and no refined sugars. I'm not exactly sure why this is the fast I've created, to be honest I just pulled a bunch of thoughts out of the air that seemed to be fitting. I have a small addiction to wheat and sugar right now and I would like to break that, I have also notice that I eat way too much animal flesh these days. I feel as though I will be able to reconnect with my body and come back to appreciating food in a more positive and less desperate light. My goal is to make it through the month of July. But I am taking it one day at a time, if I can make it to Monday I will be proud of myself and feel quite accomplished.

Now, if I can just figure out what I really want to be "when I grow up" and find a dedicated center of control for losing this weight I'll be on happy lady. Hmm...........
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