180 in 180 Day 114-121

Hey Ya'll,
I'm feeling great and starting to look good again, so I figured now was as good a time as any to tighten up on my diet again. It's not that I haven't been making progress, because I've actually done well considering how quickly my life has started to spin around. I have quite a bit of traveling coming my way over the next 6 months and I want to my outward appearance to match the way I feel on the inside. SEXY. I know nothing will happen overnight, but since I've gotten a good jump start on things these last few months adding a catalyst may be exactly what I need for drastic physical changes to come about and meet my drastic personal changes.

I was doing well until I was suddenly no longer in control of my grocery lists. But I've found a system and I think I can get what I need to be successful. Although this will take some communication of my needs I at least have people in my corner who want me to be happy. People who are willing to give me whatever they can to help me make my life great. I am so grateful for my turned around life. I asked for this journey and I am embracing it with both arms. I only have 59 days left let's see how much more I can get out of it.

Peace and Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 113

Hey Ya'll,
So I know I've left you high and dry for the last 47 days... and for that I apologize. Please know I have been continuing with my 180 degree turn around. But apparently I had a LOT further to turn around in my life so that I could meet my 180 degree change. All those days that I spent so deep in my feelings were a mere symptom of the excessive amount of toxic clutter in my life that needed to be cleared. It's amazing how sometimes we try so hard to keep something that we THINK we want only to realize that the energy we spent clinging to something that never served us with purpose, positivity, or love was wasted and we can only hope to be wiser for it going forward in our lives.

So, I have released as much toxicity at one time from my life as I possibly could during this journey. Jobs, relationships, ideas, pre-conceived notions, plans, expectations (both of me and from me) are all relinquished. I felt immediately lighter, even healthier and happier, once I accepted that everything I had convinced myself I needed/wanted/loved was really just me forcing a life woven from fabrications and expectations. Once I told myself that it was okay to stop pretending to be who I am and really BE who I am, I started to believe know that my life was meant for so much more than what I was trying to cram it into. My soul expanded and filled the world. Now I am at home in my life. And it is time to decorate my life exactly the way I choose. No more questioning how long my path will take, or if it will make enough money, or if my need to move to follow my passions will be acceptable. No more being held back by anything or anyone.

Yes, these shifts in my life were scary at first. But not for very long at all, fortunately I have an amazing support system that I can rely on to catch me when I need to sit in limbo professionally for a short period of time. Right now, they are my Free Space in life and I'm setting my marker there while I get my plan together. Of course I do need to devise a plan for my life, but now I can actually follow my heart. Unfortunately, I've been suppressing my heart's passions for so many years that I'm needing a little more time to reconnect with what she's saying again. But with so few distractions in my life now I know it won't be long before we're speaking the same language again. I'm back and I'm reporting on the rest of my journey for ya'll to follow.

Have any of you had a big unexpected swing in your journey and now you realize how far 180 degrees from your current life truly is? If so, share with the rest of the class. :-) LOL

Peace and Namaste Ya'll

P.S. I have been keeping up with my workouts. They keep my sane, but I'm ready to switch this program up. 3 more weeks until it's over and I can mix it up.

180 in 180 Days 53-59

Hey Ya'll,
It's been a...let's say highly eventful week, but in understanding how complaining can damage all of the other good in ones life. I'm just so glad to be on a path to change. I haven't had any interesting or ingenious meals lately, so no pictures. Sorry. But I am still on a role with my workouts and feeling more and more proud of myself with each passing week. It's amazing how, even if it's something you don't want to do, doing what is best can make your world so much better. Feeling a sense of pride in accomplishing something good in your life can coast you for years until the next level needs to be reached. Never be afraid to do the work necessary to be your best. That last sentence has been ringing in my ears for all week long. It makes me think of my career (or lack there of) and my husband's career. The Creator works in amazing ways, and always on His own timeline. When we think things should have happened years ago, He knows that we weren't ready at that time for whatever reason. I've been spending all this time wondering what to do with my life, looking to take the easiest route possible. But that's not what He had in store for me. He knew that the head of our home needed to lead our family's advancement or else none of what I needed to accomplish would work. As soon as my husband entered graduate school old ideas of me going to grad school began to return. Once he completed his first year what I wanted to do was like an epiphany. But it wasn't until my husband got a new job that I really accepted the possibilities of my being able to reach for these revitalized goals. An entirely new life plan formed for me once his new job began and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. All because I needed to be the support first, in order to make room for,me to be supported. For the first time ever I'm not afraid to do the stretches of time away from my family that will be required when it's my turn to go to grad school. I am so grateful that God thought enough of me to provide a life partner who is so driven towards success that his drive spills out on to me. Keeping me from hiding from the world for fear of failure and rejection and really encouraging me to push myself toward excellence. I wanted to "find myself" by the time I was 30; but He said His timeline is what we follow, not mine. So I'm going to be obedient and allow His will to unfold as I thank my husband for dealing with all my crazy flakey ideas over the years. I'm sure my husband will never understand how much I need him to help make my dreams come true, but I'm glad he will be here to make sure they do. Peace & Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 52

Hey Ya'll,
So I know that in my last post I said I was going to come out of my feelings for awhile. But I want to step back into them today, if nothing more than to be a cautionary word for you.
I am learning that sometimes being quiet about the undesirable parts of your life can be a much better route to take. I don't necessarily mean just shut up and take it. I mean keep your mouth closed and change it. You see, while whining and complaining about 2 aspects of life I allowed something that would be relatively easy to change to spill over into all the beautiful and good in my life. Thus creating an even bigger mess to try and clean up...that is, if I can clean it up in time.

The Creator doesn't take kindly to looking his gift horse in the mouth. He will let it bite you. What I mean by that is, when you continuously vocalize only what's wrong He hears "make it ALL brand new". So the world shakes, turns upside down, empties its pockets, and walks away for you to pick up the mess. I only hope that I can repent enough to let it be known that I realize I was being a lazy, spoiled baby, and that I am taking an active role in my life again. No more words with out actions.

The moral of the story kids is: Recognize what you want to be different in your life. Ask for it once, then be patient while you Work towards it. Had I just been patient I could have avoided so much turmoil. Well there's your Zen for the day... Work
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 51

Hey Ya'll,
So today I'm shifting gears, lately I've been too deep in my feelings in an attempt to dig out some Zen. You know what, sometimes you just have to leave well enough alone and build on to what you have from where you are. Here in Texas we don't have basements because it's too much trouble to go blasting through the limestone to try and create an unnecessary extra foundation. Well, that's the approach I'm taking to my life right now, no need to go trying to tear up what's set in stone in an attempt to redo what's already done. I am who I am because of the way I have lived; good, bad, ugly, indifferent, all me and all necessary at some point in my life. With that I'm going to bring back some more of the Tasting part of this blog (and my life) for you right now.

Tonight I was in a cooking mood. Which is always a great thing, because a cooking mood means that I am feeling creative, available, relaxed, and at ease with my life at that moment. Tonight's dinner is one that I've been dreaming of make for nearly a week now. And I was absolutely in the right frame of mind to make it, unfortunately we were so ready to eat that I forgot to take the picture before digging in. Oh but man, was it good!

Steamed Broccoli and Cajun Tilapia Topped  with Shrimp Creole over Steamed Rice

This dish was filling enough to not feel deprived, but light enough to survive the increasing Summer temperatures around here. Seafood is the name of the game this Summer, keeping it light to get it tight! :-)
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 50

Hey Ya'll,
Have any of you ever had to actively stop yourself from sabotaging your current situation? Well today I struggled with this on a whole new level. Today it wasn't my food choices or even my workout routine. Both were solid and positive this hot humid Monday. Today I had to force myself from sabotaging the good place that one of my most valued relationships is currently in. You see, I make every effort to be open and forth coming in general, but with those I hold nearest and dear to me I do my best to be as transparent as possible. This is my policy because I want to be loved for who I am and that cannot be done if I am hiding behind half truths, omissions, or out right lies. Also, I choose this policy in my life because the people I love and keep nearest to me I respect too much to be false with them.
Unfortunately, I have been certain for years that a large lie has been fabricated and adhered to and today I was reminded of it yet again. I had to decide if forcing the truth out once and for all was worth the turmoil that is sure to follow. I still haven't decided. I really wish that I didn't have to be placed in the position of dragging out the whole truth and that it would just be offered up in good faith that I am a reasonable person. I am not perfect and I do get angry/sad/confused/hurt, but I also make the effort to be reasonable about my reactions to my emotions, especially when my decisions will inevitably cause drastic changes in the way my life is lived.
I can't for the life of me imagine the amount of false pride and ego required to continue to look a person in the eye and consistently lie...even if the lie is slightly different every time. What sort of love could possibly find its way through opaque facades? Certainly not unconditional or everlasting love. This is how mistrust, insecurity, and fear anchor themselves into your life. Are relationships that introduce such questionings into your life worth keeping? Well, I guess that all depends on if they can be out weighed by more positive things or if the negative will continue to rear its ugly head into your life. Clean house or Clean address books, either way the air needs to be cleared in order to breath deeply.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 49

Hey Ya'll,

Happy Father's Day to all of the men out there who are doing their part to raise their children. You are a bigger blessing to the lives you touch everyday more than you could ever know. 

Peace & Namaste Ya'll