Saturday, April 17, 2010

A Different Sort of Zen

What do you do when things don't quite turn out the way you imagined them? If you fought so hard for something that by the time you received it you weren't sure if you really even wanted it anymore. Or whether you had been fighting the right fight this whole time. The idea of your triumph is still pleasing, but the battle sucked so much from you that you didn't really have anything left to give for enjoying the fruits of your labor. But if you chose to simply leave the spoils to spoil then you would no longer the hero but suddenly and drastically the villain. You understand that gifts under another tree always sparkle brighter and that your gifts are definitely worth being grateful for so: Do you "fake it till you make it" and stick with the fight you've won? Wait it out until things start to fall apart again and take your opportunity to walk away? Do you walk away immediately and suffer becoming the bad guy in the story? If you wait until it falls apart again what if it takes a decade to do so and your feelings have changed again? Do you fight once more or do you stick to the plan of walking away? How do we ever know if what we're doing is the right thing? Even through all the uncertainty there's still a sense of calm. For the first time, you don't care. Or at least you care way less than anyone else involved, which is still a first. So you've begun to walk around in a euphoric zen-like state where you are fully okay with whatever outcome arises. If it all falls apart, no problem. If it all stays together, how nice. But no more sleepless nights full of nightmares and teeth grinding. All is peace and peace is beautiful. Now that you are not trying to control the outcome of your situations anymore you can understand those who are seemingly happy all the time. You have grasped the true concept of Zen, now all that you taste in this state will be that much more fulfilling. Exhale slowly and enjoy the ride until it stops.   
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