180 in 180 Days 34-37

Hey Ya'll,
The last few days have been a fury of  exercising and job hunting. Unfortunately, I think I lost track of the jobs I applied to because I received a phone call today and I had no idea which posting it was for until halfway through the conversation. Not a good look. But, after speaking with the guy over the phone I don't really think this is a position that I actually want. The downside of getting desperate is you forget why you were being selective initially. Time for me to step back and remember what it is that I want from a new position.

I spent quite a bit of time doing laundry and walking my dog with the hubby. I think this past weekend was one of the best that I have had in a long time just because it was so calm. Even though it ended kind of solemn after some reflection on what we want, need, and can actually have in terms of our family structure right now. But I have faith that The Creator didn't bring us this far just to watch us squirm. Something glorious this way comes and I'm ready.

I have some new ideas and I promised myself the time the wheels started turning that I would follow through on them and make myself successful. So as I work my way through these 180 days I going to have to challenge myself further as if I were a coaching client. I need to hold myself accountable for my well being, my success, and ultimately my happiness. This will happen for me. It has to. I refuse to let myself down again. I am not a failure, so I am going to stop behaving like one. The same goes for you, you are greatness waiting to happen. Actualize it and let loose.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 33

Hey Ya'll,
I decided that I really need to invest in a good camera so that my picture uploads can be more reliable. I still for some reason can't get my celebration meal photos up on to yesterday's post. *sad face*

On another note I unconsciously recommitted to my plant-based eating, I didn't realize it until lunch today at work we had a potluck and someone asked me if I didn't like chicken. I responded, "it's not that, I just go through these phases where I don't really want meat." Lately, I simply don't feel all that well eating it even when I'm just picking. Water critters are more my friends I guess. I desperately need to make the time to grocery shop soon, because it is  incredibly difficult to eat well when rations are low.

Do you ever get the feeling that all of your great ideas are for nothing because you don't have the means to bring them to fruition? Well that seems to be the story of my life when it comes to my career and I'm beginning to feel really beat down about it. I know we make our own decisions and have to make sacrifices to bring our dreams to life. Problem for me is I'm not willing to make my family sacrifice along with me as I pursue something that I THINK will bring me career satisfaction. I'm still waiting for that moment of passion and drive to collide, creating clarity and success. I know it's near, I can feel it brewing, but until then I at least need something extremely flexible so that I can be here for my family as their needs change and grow. I hate the idea of feeling like the one job that I've always known I wanted isn't being completed with my greatest abilities. Well, off I go to pray, meditate, and rest.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Days 31 & 32

Hey Ya'll,
Last night the hubby and I celebrated his new job and the unexpected extras that came along with it. (I'm so proud of him) We went to this steakhouse restaurant in our local "luxury" shopping center, The Domain. The steakhouse is called Fleming's. Now, I'm from Texas, so a good steak is not a foreign concept to me. But goodness I don't think I've ever experienced such a meal before. Not only was the atmosphere mellow, it managed to be casually elegant if you can imagine that. With soft red lighting to encourage the appetite and your choice of white or black linens for your table as you are seated. Staff were all friendly and appeared to be well treated... There are few worse things than being waited on by disgruntled serving staff. Despite my attempt to eliminate terrestrial animals from my diet for awhile, I did take this very rare opportunity to enjoy an adult meal with just my husband. Every morsel was worth it too.

Procini crusted Filet Mignon with a Blue Cheese  Bearnaise and grilled Asperagus.

Ceasar Salad with Parmesan Crisp

Fresh Parmesan French-style bread with Roasted Tomato Compound Butter and a Roasted Garlic Compound Butter

My husband absolutely loved the roasted tomato compound butter that came with our fresh bread. It was slightly sweet and well seasoned. It reminded me of dipping a slice of well buttered bread into a perfect tomato basil soup. My favorite of the butters was the roasted garlic compound, really just because I love garlic. The almost nutty sweetness of the roasted garlic appealed to me more I think also because it wasn't as sweet as the roasted tomato butter. Not that the roasted tomato butter was oddly sweet, it just didn't allow for the earthy savoriness that I look for when eating fresh bread. And since I'm eating bread far less, I choose to eat it in my favorite way when I do. The Cesar Salad to be honest was not the best I have ever had. I feel the dressing was slightly under seasoned, it could have used a bit more anchovy. But by no means was it offensively sub-par. The Parmesan crisp did provide that extra bit of saltiness that I was looking for in the salad as I ate it between bites. The steak I chose was perfectly cooked. So often if I order my steak medium I end up with it closer to rare. I know that many people prefer rare when eating a beautiful cut of meat, but my personal preference is to have a warm center (fresh cuts of fish being the exception). At first I wasn't certain about the blue cheese sauce with the steak, I was afraid it would be over powering. But I was pleasantly surprised. The sauce had just the right amount of blue cheese flavor without taking over the flavors of everything on the plate. Just enough to add an extra level of Umami to the experience. So beautifully done I found myself making sure that each bite of steak was adequately covered in the sauce even though it in no way needed sauce to enhance the flavor or texture of the steak itself. Overall, this meal really allowed our occasion to feel as special as it was to us.

That was my night last night, today life was a bit simpler. And that was just fine. A couple of lovely walks around the neighborhood today and yoga this afternoon after a terribly long day of work. A simple dinner and plenty of water made the extra movement added to today effortless. Though now I am so ready for bed that I can't seem to finish this posting fast enough. are you celebrating anything? Do you have a favorite spot to patron for celebrations? Or do you have places that you are ticking off your lists as the opportunity arises?
Peace & Namaste Ya'll  

180 in 180 Days 27 - 30

Hey Ya'll,
The last few days have been a bit of a whirlwind. Great thing is the hubby has his foot back in the door of doing work he can love again. And I'm so excited to see him excited again. He has been diligent the last 3 years and it has finally paid off. As I see our lives progressively turn around I can't help but wonder what is in store for us as a family. What do I need to do to help position us for the best outcome possible. I watch my husband work so hard to be a contributing member of society on so many accounts that I occasionally feel like I don't pull my weight because I'm just floating about in meaningless jobs trying to realize who I'm meant to be. I kind of envy my husband's drive and clear understanding of who he is and what he wants to put his name on in this world.
I had a conversation with my Poppa today about what he will do when he retires from the service. And he said something that peaked my interest. He said, maybe I'll just do what I'm good at until I learn to love it.
You know, sometimes what we love is only meant to be a hobby. And sometimes just being good at something and allowing yourself to succeed is enough to evoke love for your craft. But either both require enough personal insight  to choose which is which. Yet another thing to ponder, I plan to get it together by the end of this journey. That's what this is all about after all, turning my life around.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 26

Hey Ya'll,
Tonight, my husband said that I should tryout for the television show Master Chef next year.
http://www.fox.com/masterchef/photos/#
Master Chef is set up for home cooks to compete for a monetary prize and the chance to learn from amazing professionals in the foo industry. It both excites and scares the begeezus out of me. The idea of being on television is just not appealing to me; in fact, it terrifies me. But the idea of getting the chance to learn from chefs like Gordon Ramsey and Graham Elliot would be the opportunity of a lifetime. While I think about it I will just keep practicing in the privacy of my home an feeding people that I love. Maybe I will even evolve this blog and post better food porn here for all to share. I would need a new camera for that, hopefully since I'm such a good girl Santa will bring me one the year for Christmas....and a new laptop Hehehe.

Back to my day today, this morning started well with a nice breakfast before it was shattered by the news of multiple favorite people leaving for other opportunities soon. It really held me until lunch, no snacking, not even the desire to stress eat after the news hit me. I guess I do best with complex carbs, fiber, and protein in the morning. It's a good thing to know the best way to break your nightly fast, everyone is different test out different options for yourself over the next week and see what you come up with.

Vanilla Almond Milk, Chocolate Hazelnut Oatmeal with Strawberries and Bananas

As for today, it was absolutely UNproductive for me, I couldn't focus worth anything. My mind kept wandering off to "What are you doing here?" "Where do you want to take your life?" "How much longer can you live this way?" and because I had not a single answer for any of my questions I kept floundering and daydreaming. I still don't really have any answers for myself, I just really need to get out of where I am and into an inspiring environment. Even yoga was difficult, I got on my mat and struggled though almost the entire class. Until two thirds of the way through when things really started to move quickly and freely as opposed to the long holds in a single pose that we were doing up to that moment. I felt myself breathe again and as the poses started to be held for only a single breath. I'm not sure if this is because mentally and emotionally I'm pretty much completely done with holding and waiting in my life. I crave being able to just flow and move and progress. I think I am reflecting this on my mat as well. Perhaps a chance to do just that in my life is on its way now that I am ready for it. I sure do hope so. Have you noticed that your practices are changing and you need them to become something else to match where you are in life?

Peace and Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 25

Hey Ya'll,

In light of recent tragedies I would like to extend heartfelt prayers to the families of Moore, Oklahoma. I would also like to take the time to express my gratitude to The Creator for keeping my own family in Oklahoma safe and secure. Each day is not promised to us, which is exactly why I started this project. The idea of leaving this Earth without having ever felt accomplished or legitimately satisfied with the life I've created for myself is absolutely unacceptable. So, I continue with my advancement for as long as I am permitted.

Today I did my best to remain grounded and engaged, for the most part, my day was productive. But I guess that's all one can ask for when one is at work, right? On a slightly higher note, I overcame a craving/desire to stop for a cheeseburger at dinner time and instead made the fish tacos that were planned. I was also proud of myself for prepping this morning's breakfast last night. Overnight I soaked oats in a blend of vanilla almond milk, banana, brown sugar, vanilla extract, and pumpkin pie spice. Then this morning I heated the soaked oats on the stove while I dry pan toasted hemp seeds. I topped the oatmeal with the hemp seeds and a few semi-sweet chocolate chips (I also added a few butterscotch chips in my bowl, fyi, the chocolate chips alone were enough). This whole idea came from my daughter's love of instant flavored oatmeal and my attempt to rid the house of these types of processed products. The verdict...."It's BETTER than the banana and cream instant oatmeal Mommy" Score one for Mom, so glad I thought this one up.
(Unfortunately the pictures I took of my meals do not want to load tonight, I will try again in the morning)

As I watch more people jump ship around me to stop doing work that doesn't serve them in exchange for work that nourishes and enriches their lives; I understand more and more that a change is coming for my family and me. I welcome this change with and open heart because I am certain it will place us in a world all our own that supplies us with the steady flow of joy that we seek. May you all sleep safely in your beds tonight and may dreams of your purpose bless your hearts. May you remember your purpose come morning light and may you pursue that with zeal and love. Goodnight, sleep tight, and allow The Universe in tonight.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll

180 in 180 Day 24

Hey Ya'll,
Today has been an odd day. Not necessarily bad, just odd. Something felt off and I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. I actually can't even think of anything to write about tonight because I feel like I've been walking around with my eyes closed all day. Have you ever had that feeling? Once you finally sit down at the end of your day and take a moment to exhale you realize that nothing from the day has been dedicated to memory because you've had no focus or any one thing at all. That has been me today, walking around in a fog. Even yoga kind of felt dream like to me....A much more pleasant dream but still kind of floaty in my head none the less. I think I'll try to make it to bed earlier tonight in hopes of actually feeling rested come morning. Take the time to breath and be present today before it slips away.
Peace & Namaste Ya'll