Starting A New Journey

Okay, so I've decided that starting in the morning I'm beginning a 365 day journey. My journey will challenge me to open up my yoga practice for at least 30 minutes everyday. It will not have to be 30 all at once, though I would prefer it, it can be broken up into 2 increments of 15 minutes or 3 increments of 10 minutes. It all will depend on what the day allows me to commit to at the time. Hopefully by the end of my journey I will find a system that works for me and will allow me to practice for 90 minutes each day. I have a book full of poses and favorite fan club on Facebook and a site I follow on Twitter to help me get through enhancing my poses. I feel good and I am focused. Now I need a detox plan to add to the beginning, middle, and the end of this journey. I will be posting my progress here daily, everything from mental clarity to emotional stability to upper body strength to weight loss and ability to hold a handstand.

This will give me a reason to blog daily and something to focus on while I hunt for a new job. Let's hope I don't bore the pants off of everyone LOL

Insurance

I am SO disappointed in the big business of insurance. Being charged extra money because I'm allergic to Cedar!!!! WTF what kind of sadistic greedy mongrel thought this up? All I wanted to do was be able to see my gyno annually, get my allergy script filled as needed, and be able to see a doc if anything else happens to occur. Then to top it off they're charging me a higher premium because it took THEM a month to complete the process. Again WTF!!!

*EXHALE* *INHALE* *EXHALE*

Okay, I'm fine. I'll be just fine. This is only temporary until our personal situation improves. Thank you Lord for my parents. Thank you Lord for your favor. Thank you Lord for the Blessings that you have coming our way. Hallelujah and Amen.

On a different note, I am ashamed to say that I have only gotten on the floor a handful of times since I've been here. I've tried using a podcast to help guide me through a few Ashtangas. It was alright, that was the only time I did more that 5 minutes. But I don't think I enjoy the instructor all that much. So now I must search through the copious amounts of yoga related podcasts to find the right one for me. Of course I would much rather be in a class, but that isn't in the budget right now *sigh*. I wish my instructor K would start video casting, but she still hasn't decided if that's the direction she's going in. But I can assure you if K chooses to, I will be the first one to promote her and follow religiously. I miss her terribly. Guess I've talked enough, off to study for my content exam and then to stretch in a dolphin pose for a minute. Bye now.

Ughhhh

In desperate need of a  really good Flow class. My emotions, body, and thoughts are all out of wack. Dear God, please get me into to see someone really soon so that I can be on my way to healing and practicing again. Thank You, Amen.

Confusion

So my grandmother used to say when you're confused about a moment in life, stand still.
Basically this is because it's hard to navigate yourself down the proper path until the dust settles and you can see. Thing is the dust never seems to settle in my life, and when I feel like it's beginning to someone walks through a kicks it all up again. I never thought that just living a good clean life was supposed to be so difficult and traumatic.....UGH  Oh well guess I'm standing still for awhile longer.

Ummm, I miss my yoga class and instructor!!!! My wrist still hasn't begun to feel any better and my tailbone has gotten so irritated I'm sleeping on the flipping sofa. Le Sigh..... LOL Maybe I can manage a few warrior poses and a Happy Baby or something (tee hee) I've got to get make to a peaceful place AND FAST.....

Zen-Tasting Interrupted

So my search for physical zen has been interrupted due to injuries. I can't really continue my habit for yoga right now because I managed to bust up both my wrist and my tailbone in one fell swoop (or should I say fall). I went skating with my family a week and a half ago and fell straight down on my bum trying to catch myself with my right hand down onto a lovely polished cement floor. Ohhh the constant aching. I still haven't gone to see the Dr. but hopefully this medical insurance will kick in VERY soon so that I can without having to come out of pocket on hundreds of dollars that I don't have. *sigh* You never really notice how important individual parts of your body are until they are unable to add to the union that you've grown accustom to using. I feel debilitated and lost. My body is screaming for a downward dog, but I can't make it happen not a solid one anyway, because my poor wrist (on my dominant hand mind you) won't support it. Oh sweet baby Jesus I just want to be healed so that I can move freely again. By the way, the constant pain aching through my body makes me so exhausted. By the evening all I can do is lay down and fall asleep. My body is so not happy with me right now, ugh......... Oh and so because I can barely move all I want to do right now is EAT, but I can't for multiple reason, at least not like how I want to eat. I wonder how hard it really is to come up with a way to crack the lottery codes because I really need to win right now. I'm not too greedy just one million will put me in a place where I can feel in control of my life again; body fixed, debts paid, future goals lined up, all would be good. Oh well until the dream happens I guess I'll keep ice on my wrist sitting on one "cheek" at a time and studying for my content exams. My peace will come eventually, zen will be achieved.      

M.I.A.

Okay so I've been silent for a very long time around here, mostly because I'm trying to figure my life out still. The teaching thing is still underway and I guess I'm becoming increasingly okay with the idea......I guess..... Anyway I am still completely in love with my yoga instructor K's flow class. I actually get excited about getting up early so I can be in her 8:30 am class. But as they say all good things must come to an end. I regretfully am moving back to Austin *sigh*. I want to stay in the Dallas-Metroplex area so badly, but it can't happen unless one of us gets a job here and SOON. This is one of the reasons that I am actually beginning to look forward to my new career in teaching. My chances of finding a job here are greater than they are in Austin *yesss* because there are so many more districts to apply to. What I'm really hoping for in teaching is a resounding peaceful moment of professional clarity. That working in this field will grant me the insight I need to know "what I want to be when I grow up". Until the fall I need a little part-time something to put some change in my pockets so that I can afford to pay for my exams in July. Maybe someone will be willing to pay me to taste all of their latest food creations and ideas, ahh wishful thinking......... 

Wading through the Muck

It seems we all go through upsetting funks in our lives. Many of us find ourselves feeling lonely, dejected, and hopeless. For those of us who believe in a higher power it's often saddening because we feel a bit abandoned. We feel as though we continue to try and live in a favorable manor, doing good in our lives and in the lives of others. But we are still left to be consumed by the demons of desolate wasteland hearts. We're supposed to feel connected to ourselves and then allow the universe to bring in all its offerings to us. Sometimes we so deeply want to feel needed in order to remember our worth that we forget we need us more than anyone ever could. We forget to nurture our minds, to grow our spirits, to strengthen our bodies, or to soften our hearts. Once we've established a new sense of focus in our lives when is it okay to accept love back into our lives? When do we get to feel the quickening heartbeats, the butterflies in the stomach, the day-dreams of forever? When is okay to desire another person's company again? When is it okay to crave that someone's body again? To smell them in your sleep and smile? To taste their lips and hum? To be carried away by passion for this person and get lost in dreams for them? When is it okay for happily ever after to actually turn out just like that.....Happily? When is it okay for others to stop disappointing our hearts? When is it okay to believe that others will stop disappointing our hearts? When does everything align itself and simply create a good existence?